Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.
Don’t get arrested in a foreign country.
If you do not like a situation, leave.
So many people I know live in misery because they are too afraid to leave a bad situation (bad job, bad relationship, whatever). It’s scary of course and it can be hard, I’m not saying it’s easy, but it can be done. And most of the time you will be better for it.
Have more than you show, speak less than you know
Don’t make a decision when you’re mad, don’t make a promise when you’re happy
Don’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.
The one rule of driving that never, ever is wrong:
When you’re driving, everybody else on the road is an idiot and it’s your job to watch out.
The other guy is probably having a shitty day, so let it go if you can.
I try not to pick petty fights with other drivers, waiters, someone at a store, etc.
If after 10 wipes, just take a shower.
Do it without saying you’re doing it
Tell the truth with as few words as possible.
Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups
whatever you do in life – leave it better than you found it.
Be the person your dog thinks you are. (It’s cheesy but I love it. I love my dog.)
Treat others the way you want to be treated unless they’re a complete douchebag, then treat others the way you want to be treated right in front of him and ignore his douchebag ass
Never date a close friend’s ex.
A lot of people disagree with me on this, but it will be a rule I won’t break. Even if the friend says its cool, deep down they probably wouldn’t like it.
Today is a good day
“Hope like an optimist, plan like a pessimist.”
“Never stop learning – it keeps your mind young. Never stop dancing – it keeps your body young. Never stop loving – it keeps your spirit old.”
Do what you want and do it because you enjoy it. Don’t live your life the way others think you should.
Also if you walk into an cinema that is essentially empty dont sit in the seat right next to me you literally have the choice of basically the entire theater.
Trust everyone, but always cut the deck.
Always try to be compassionate and understanding.
Never google ANYTHING your friends tell you to google, even if it seems as harmless as a blueberry waffle or a party of lemons. Needless to say, my friends are assholes.
Don’t fuck with people who prepare your food
Don’t worry, take it easy. When you get a flat on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, and as soon as you take out your spare it deflates. All there is to do is laugh while your friend or the tow truck gets there. Relax, every minor problem isn’t the end of your world.
Condoms. Every time.
If she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you.
Never use google to self diagnose an injury or illnesses, because 99% of the time it “may lead to death”
If it takes less than 5 minutes, do it now.
Be kind to everyone!
It’s amazing what a little kindness can do, I’ve been lucky enough to befriend bikers, scientists, ex-cons, farmers in the jungle, millionaires and artists by just being nice. Not goody-two-shoes nice, but just trying to remember everyone is a person initially deserving of respect and kindness!
Never trust a fart.
Don’t be a cunt
The only way to get respect is to give it.
My great grandfather left me with this nugget “I don’t care if you’re a ditch-digger, as long as you’re a good one.” So whatever you do in life, do it to the best of your ability.
Half your age + 7
“You can teach your children how to hate, teach them how to fight. I will teach my children how to love, and love with all of their might”. -Matisyahu
Maybe you think it’s cheesy, but I think it’s beautiful. There’s a lot of hate in this world, and hate breeds hate.
I’ll tell you what my father told me:
Be polite and respectful
Don’t bet for money
Don’t borrow money
Do not trust men who wear white pants
In hindsight, great advice.
If she nags constantly, cries about petty issues and demands your 100% devotion then you’re better single.
If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
Never ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do.
“Protect consciousness, practice generosity, live vigorously, and consume mindfully.”
I definitely read a variation of that somewhere, and picked up on it. Originally, the first part was “protect life,” so I changed it to reflect my views.
The pain scale is not the human scale. Things are not painful, people are not painful. Circumstances are not painful and experiences aren’t either. We assign the meaning.
The sad truth however is that some people will get a whole heap of the “hookup” texts and yet will still insist in their own minds that the sender actually wants to date them. We see and feel whatever it is we want. We create the people who hurt us because we see what we want to see, not what is actually in front of us.