At least once in your life, have you ever turned your back on love? Have you ever felt love demanded too much from you, or too much of you? Ever felt love plays favoritism and you believed you weren’t one of it?
But, there’s also this time when struggling gets easier day after day; when getting by doesn’t hurt as much anymore. One day, tears naturally dry up and fears start melting away. And then the next thing we know, we are beginning to be whole again.
We wake up every morning to meet new people with the hope of finally finding the one. But at the end of the day, it’s either none turns out right or we settle for less. Oftentimes, we are selfish; we demand immediacy from love because we can’t stand being alone. We find comfort in somebody else’s home rather than in ours. But we need to accept that love requires time, sometimes, even longer than we are willing to wait. Time hurts over and over because it wants us to grow. Or simply because, it’s for the best.
And when we are already with the one we love, realities become more honest. We start identifying flaws and differences. As days go by, we realize standing up to loving unconditionally gets more difficult to persevere. We go back to asking what is in it for us. Then, we redefine who we want. We pursue seeking those who can keep up to our senseless checklists without realizing that we are missing out on what matters more.
Inevitable are the times when some things fall short. Then, our ears start to shut down as we permit our mouths do the work. We unintentionally hurt each other for reasons as shallow as forgetting week-saries. And with this, we fail to love — for love, when hurt, loves more. It spares rooms for mistakes. It allows pain to linger so that we can grow. Sometimes, it tears us apart to remind us that we are still frail.
Hurrying love may make you a better lover but waiting patiently can make you profound. Yes, differences push people away but at one point, it bring people back together more beautifully. Lastly, mistakes break us, disappoint us. We hurt not because of love…
…but because we forget what love is.
1. You are number one because you were my heart and soul — a love that never should have ended. You were my first everything. A day will never go by when I don’t think of you or what we could have accomplished together. As much as I love you, I know you are not right for me. - RO
2. I won’t lie, you were a big part of my life. You were basically my boyfriend but we never quite got there. You took me on dates, we did spontaneous romantic things. You wrote me love letters and you tried your hardest. I’m sorry that when you were ready to settle down, I wasn’t. Thanks for being one of the few people who genuinely gave a shit. - AH
3. You were that stupid high school relationship. The only reason I am writing to you is to thank you. Thank you for being an asshole. It really prepared me for the rest of my shitty experiences in life. - NV
4. You have been trying to get with me for about four years now. Yeah, we’ve kissed but you are going nowhere and we both know it. You only wanted one thing which is why I refused to give it to you. I hope your kid is doing well.
5. I bet you thought I forgot all about you. You liked me so much but you said you needed time and I just couldn’t handle that. So that’s when I hooked up with your friend and you decided to never speak to me again. I guess you should have kept me when you had the chance. - CS
6. You are that friend. I regret you every day of my life. You spread rumors and lied to my face. I hate you.
7. Do you remember me or are you tripping too hard on drugs? You were the bad boy in my life that I was craving. You were so mysterious and it frustrated me. I needed to learn more about you so I did. We had the perfect baseball/softball player thing going for us. Then you realized I couldn’t keep up with your lifestyle which is when I was dropped. We both knew it was bound to happen.
8. You are one of the nicest people I have ever met and I am sorry. I used you. I used you as a rebound to make myself feel better. You genuinely liked me, even told me you loved me and I played with your feelings. - AMG
9. Oh, the college hook up. That is all you are. You lied to me, led me on, and treated me like I didn’t exist. You were also a lesson learned. I’m sorry but I can’t find it on myself to forgive you for pretending you liked me because honestly it hurt.
10. Sorry, I was drunk.
11. You are a genuinely good person and I hope to see where things may go in the future. I hope you don’t end up like #9.
12. I am saving you for last (well, almost) because you are the only person who loved me with out ever touching my lips. 4 years you have loved me and we both have known it. I have leaded you on and left you for all of the above and you still stuck around. I haven’t kissed you because I feel like I am not deserving of your genuine love for me. I will never be so sorry for something in my life. -AMG
13. Who ever you may be, please love me and make me happy. Please don’t end up like the rest.
We’ve all been there. The point of no return. The piling of questions without answers and assertions without evidence.
“Why did they break my heart?”
“I thought we were meant for each other.”
“No one will ever love me that way again.”
Well, guess what? Someone will.
We need to stop seeing breakups as bad things. They’re the end to a relationship that wasn’t meant to be, whether we know it at the time or not. They’re an opportunity to start anew, a chance to find someone better for us, and most importantly, an opportunity to find ourselves.
Every relationship, both good and bad, has wisdom and insight to offer us. A breakup gives us the chance to explore what we really want, and to find out what we don’t.
Sure, breakups really do hurt, but after a while, that pain and heartbreak unknowingly melts away. We need heartbreak. Without the pain of a lost or broken love, we do not appreciate true love when we find it.
Even more importantly, the pain is proof. Proof that it meant something. Proof that that person wasn’t a waste of your time. They may not have been right for you, but they taught you something. Whether it was teaching you how to salsa or the life lesson to never date a cheater again, there is always something gained from a relationship.
Heartbreak comes and goes, but the memories and the wisdom gained from our past relationships last a lifetime. It may be hard to believe, but I think it’s worth the tradeoff.
Sintiendome mejor :)
Broken Mirror by Bing Wright.